Where did the last month go?  Seems like only yesterday we were all-a-BuZZ and together with our Northeastern friends at Stitches East.  Suddenly, it's Thanksgiving. The holiday season upon us.  

I tend to hibernate the last couple months of the year.  We have a stretch of a few months between shows or exhibits; volunteers are working on their holiday knitting. Hat activities seem to wane until January. I find my UFOs that have been languishing in the closet, patiently waiting for me to set hat-making and pattern testing aside.  A couple of these UFOs prompted me to be thankful for a few of my favorite knitting things.

I became addicted to lace.  The few things I have made for myself seem to have some type of lace knitting involved.  Not always on small needles, but those needles will need to have sharp points.  I have a fondness for Kollage Square Needles anyway, but have to admit that the new US-made squares are amazing.  Not only have they been sharp enough for my lace-addiction, but also make decrease stitches a breeze.  No more problems with K2 or K3 together, or slip, slip knit!  I also find that my gauge and tension are more accurate, and my hands don't tire as easily.  Yes, all of the things that Kollage touts in marketing the needles; 'tis true!

My name is Pam.  I am a cancer survivor.

I wonder.  Why is it that when many of us proclaim our survivorship, it is often like being an addict?  I didn't ask for my cancer diagnosis.  It was handed to me.  In fact, at the time I was diagnosed, the 'odds' for being a cancer survivor were totally against me.  I was probably in the best physical shape that I had ever been in.  I walked often. My golf game had improved dramatically. I would be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary.  I did my BSEs every month, without fail and had my annual mammogram without any incident.

And then it was June.  junetwentysecondtwothousandfour.  It rolls off my tongue in a moment.  June 22, 2004.  Mrs. Haschke, you have cancer. On June 22, 2004, I was told I had Inflammatory Breast Cancer and a 30% chance to live.  Step into the batter’s box and get a hit 30% of the time, 3 out of 10; you’re batting 300. We think that’s good.  You have cancer.  Ding, ding, ding. You have stepped into the batter’s box and you’ve got the type of cancer where 70% of hitters strike out within 5 years.  Gee, coach, thanks for putting me in the game.  I didn’t want to play that badly.   Definitely not for the big “C” team.  Couldn’t you have kept me on the bench?

This is one of the photos that most of you see of me, now that I'm an 8 1/2 year survivor.  Yes, I have hair. Hair that over the past 8 years I have coddled and worked with to make look the way that I wanted it to.

Most of us were either Freshmen or Sophomores in high school and, most likely, so into ourselves or our peer groups, that we weren't thinking much about doing for others. Certainly, few of us were thinking about nationally-oriented charitable endeavors.

As the mother of a son, I'm always up for a little…okay, a lot… of Mama Brag when my son does amazing things.  On Wednesday night, our charity's dear friend, Benjamin Levisay from XRX, Knitting Universe, and Stitches Expos posted the following to his Facebook page.

"Hello Friends! I'm in 'Proud Dad' mode tonight. My dear 15 year old son Christopher just finished his first knit hat out of Lane Borgoseia Moda Chic (light blue and brown). It's a simple design... but still.

What I'm more proud of is that he's asked me to auction it off, here on Facebook, with the proceeds (from the highest bid) going to the Great Halos Of Hope Buzz fundraiser. He's never asked me to do anything like this before... and I think it's cool. I've decided to start the bidding off myself with $15. And I think I'll let this auction run until tomorrow night at 9:00 pm central time."

I had planned to finish up a blog tonight about 'a few of my favorite things' while trying to finish three projects currently on hooks and needles.  But before I got to my computer tonight to finish that post up, I found an envelope that had been dropped off after this weekend's mail run.  I could tell from the way it was addressed, the size and shape, that it wasn't a special hat that our team was trying to call to my attention.  Or any of the other usual mail items that are mine to deal with.  So I opened it.

The past 2 weeks have been personally challenging for me.  Nothing serious; nothing to agonize over.  It's just one of those times when the WIRIP Delegation makes a visit.  You know the group…When-It-Rains-It-Pours.  Yet, when I opened this envelope, none of that mattered anymore.  Because, you see, the good folks at Camp Happy Times sent us a copy of their 2011 remembrance book titled "The Valerie Fund's Kingdom of Camp Happy Times:  Miracles 2011."  

This hat was started in mid-April.  That's a lot of weekends.  We're talking size 2 needles.  Colorwork.   Downright laziness.  Yes, you read that right.  I got lazy.  Or my fingers were tired. One of the two, or maybe both.

As I was thinking about hats for our Yarn Over Weekends series, though, it dawned on me that I had a UFO.  Rather than try for a full-fledged-get-it-done-in-a-weekend pattern, it might be best to get this one done.  Motivator #2?  It's beautiful and I wanted it in the Team Martina box.

Cloche Enough is another pattern from our friends at Bellsisters Design, and it is one that I have always admired and wanted to try.  Bellsister Susan has made a number of sample hats for our Halos of Hope events table, and, recently at Stitches Midwest, we raffled off one of her Cloche Enough hats.  It can be done either in a DK weight yarn on small needles, or a worsted weight on size 8s.  Of course, me, overachiever, had to try the smaller version.  Wait.  Not entirely true.  I actually have the yarn set aside to do the worsted version.  But the weather was warming, and there was this really cool sale on yarn in April, and, well, there you have it.  DK on size 2s.  The hat is made from Sirdar Snuggly Baby Bamboo DK, and it is soft.  Bamboo and bamboo blends are often a good option to make hats for cancer patients  The Sirdar yarn does have a touch of wool, which will help it to keep its shape.  And while we'll indicate the hat has wool content, you wouldn't be able to tell by touch.  Did I mention it was soft?  One thing to keep in mind with bamboo yarns, they do stretch.  This hat may look 'small' but it stretches enough to fit an adult's head.  

We want to thank our friends from the InterKnit Machine Knitters' Guild for their support and for allowing us to share a cap pattern that can be used for an LK 150 knitting machine.  The InterKnit Machine Knitters have used patterns like this one for the past several years to demonstrate machine knitting and make hats for Halos of Hope at Stitches Midwest.

This free pattern can be downloaded from our website.

Thank you again InterKnit Knitters!!!

It's football season, again…almost.  Some of you may remember about mid-season last year, we started our Sunday With a Side of Football series.  Why we didn't think of it during pre-season eludes all of us, especially since I will spend an entire Sunday afternoon, in the easy chair, knitting or crocheting, and watching games.  But through the final 7 weeks of regular season, the playoffs and the Super Bowl, we tried to find knit and crochet hats that could be completed with several hours of football on the side.

I will admit, trying to find patterns you can make in one day was challenging.  I do really like to watch football!  I admittedly get distracted, intentionally. This season, we've decided on Yarn Over Weekends.  Hats that can be made over a weekend, or maybe over a couple of weekends.  The weather cools, we are indoors more, and, of course, football is on TV.

How many of you have heard Martina McBride's song, "I'm Gonna Love You Through It"?  I will admit, the first time I heard this song, I just cried.  It reminded me of the day my dear husband and I found out that I had cancer.  In that one moment, our entire world was shaken to its core.  If you watch the official video for this song, I think Sheryl Crow's comment is spot on.  "When you are diagnosed with cancer, everyone around you is diagnosed as well."

Recently, Halos of Hope learned of an all volunteer cancer fundraising team, inspired 2011 by Martina's song.  Team Martina works with her on various cancer fundraising projects, and personally visits cancer patients in hospitals in Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Indiana to spread cheer and comfort.  This fall, Team Martina is visiting visiting two cancer centers in Tennessee and one center in Indiana and is looking for our help to provide hats in the comfort packages they will personally deliver to 40-50 patients at each center.

We announced the Team Martina campaign in our July newsletter, but want to provide a reminder that we have 2 weeks left to help this inspiring group comfort others.  Our goal is to get 200 hats delivered to Halos of Hope by August 31, 2012. We need adult hats for men and women.  Adults only, please! We have provided links to the some patterns that would be nice to include for these hand-delivered care packages.

I'm going to the London Olympics. Before cancer, I didn't think much about a 'bucket list'.  I'm wondering if anyone thought much about a bucket list before 2007 when Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman convinced us that maybe we should.  Sure, there were things I knew I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime, but it was more about early retirement and golf!  But the Olympic games in London?  That could be very cool.  And yes, I have a bucket list.  This went on it; we've been planning for 2 years.

A couple of days ago, I noticed that the slogan for the 2012 games is "Inspire a Generation".  They announced it in April about 100 days before the games were set to begin.  The organizing (that would be organising if you're across the pond) committee selected it to stay true to their commitment to encourage more young people to get into sport.

Learning that this Olympic games' slogan was "Inspire a Generation" just a few days before we're set to leave for London, and a few days after we sealed the last box of hats headed for Camp Happy Times seemed a bit prophetic to me.  For those of you who may have missed the final count, our volunteers rallied to make 378 birthday themed hats in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors to help the campers celebrate Camp Happy Times' 30th birthday.  For the second straight year, this campaign has exceeded our expectations.  Through our ongoing monthly hat contributions, our volunteers also sent us enough 'regular' hats so we could pull out 230 hats for the kids to stay warm while at camp.  

For the past few months, we have reached out through our volunteer base, ardent cap crafters on Ravelry and good friends of ours throughout the country, trying to find the best guidelines and stories to share on making caps for cancer patients.

The result is Help! Drugs Ate My Hair! Guidelines and stories to help you in making caps for Halos of Hope.  This anecdotal account covers such topics as:

I read recently that 39% of adults are saying their stress levels have increased over the past year, and 44% feel their personal stress has increased significantly over the past 5 years.  

Stress is hard on all of us.  For a cancer survivor, stress begins with diagnosis and the whirlwind of tests and appointments.  As treatment ends, a common feeling of depression sets in. You've been taken care of for months by a team of professionals, followed what seemed like an endless regimen of care instructions, appointments, procedures, and tests.  Then, suddenly, nothing.  You have no evidence of disease and you're on your own again.  You get that first twinge of discomfort, or have to go through that first series of follow up scans.  Stress rises again..'am I still okay, or is it back?'  

When I lived on the West Coast and I needed to take some time to reflect, relax, and de-stress, I would drive to the Pacific Ocean.  A walk on the beach, the wind in my hair, the feel of the sand in my toes, the waves lapping at my feet, the sound of the waves.  Calm soon followed.  Here in the Midwest, finding solace on a stretch of sand is a bit more challenging.  It takes a little longer to get to Lake Michigan. But it's there if I need it.  A few years ago, I was in Florida when we got word that a family member had passed.  I was 3,000 miles away and could do nothing.  A beach walk along the Atlantic Ocean eased my grief.

“You will lose your hair.” Imagine hearing that from your oncologist? And of course you get to hear this shortly after hearing the worst news of all. "You have cancer.”

Hair loss from chemotherapy is common. In fact, it's expected. As the chemotherapy wages war on cells that divide very quickly, skin, hair and nails become collateral damage. There's even a clinical term for it: chemotherapy-induced alopecia. It begins one to two months into treatment, usually after session number two. The emotional side effects of losing your hair, though, are overlooked. “It's only hair, right? It grows back.” That's what I thought. I wanted all those ‘bad boy cells’ out of my system, so I said, “Pam, do what it takes. You’re not emotionally attached to your silky, auburn, naturally curly locks.” I couldn't have been more wrong!

I picked out my wig before the hair loss began...almost went blonde. My oncologist suggested I get one between the first and second chemo sessions. That way, I’d be ready when my hair started to fall out. He even suggested I consider shaving my head—shaving should make it easier. Then one morning I noticed hair on my pillow when I woke up. I found strands of hair intertwined in my fingers. And I felt that awful sensation of tiny pin pricks dancing across every hair follicle, and the increased tenderness of my scalp. Some have likened it to having Mom pull your ponytail too tight.

Off to be clipped and shorn.

Whether you’re male or female, you probably have heard the sound of the clippers. It's a buzzing sound. When you hear it as a cancer patient, you suddenly face the reality that your hair is going; then it's gone. You're really sick. Especially for a woman, being bald puts a shiny, flesh-colored sign on your head that says, "I HAVE CANCER."

I am a survivor. Cancer-free for eight years now. Over five years ago, I started Halos of Hope to provide comfort and dignity to those dealing with hair loss due to chemotherapy or radiation. Through the generosity of knitters and crocheters everywhere, we’ve sent out more than 72,000 hats. Our biggest challenge though, is shipping hats to over 450 cancer centers nationwide. Shipping is our single, largest annual expense.

So in an effort to help Halos of Hope raise funds needed to continue sending out hats across the country, three amazing and selfless men are generating the 'buzz' of awareness. Drew Emborsky (a.k.a . the Crochet Dude™), Benjamin Levisay, CEO of XRX, Inc. & STITCHES Expos, and Mark Moraca, co-owner of Kollage Yarns will take the stage at STITCHES East in a gesture of solidarity for cancer patients everywhere—and one of them will lose his hair.

We're calling it: "The Great Halos of Hope Buzzz." Which man will it be? You can vote for your favorite man to “Save” or “Shave” by donating to Halos of Hope. Online voting starts today, and will continue through October 13, 2012 at noon. He who has the most votes loses—his hair, that is, and will be professionally and publicly shaved on the STITCHES East Market stage, to support those who lose their hair in fighting ‘the Big C’.

Help us spread the word. Tell your friends, relatives, yarn shop owners, designers, co-workers. Each $10 vote ensures that 31 more hats are sent to those in need. Who will you vote for?

Please let your employers and companies know that matching funds are welcomed.

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