Taking initiative in a relationship can seem nerve-wracking, especially if you’re a girl interested in a guy. You may wonder if being assertive will come across as desperate or pushy. The good news is, in most cases, guys appreciate when a girl they’re interested in makes a move. Here’s why guys dig girls who take initiative, tips on how to do it, and signs he’s into you taking the lead.
Why Guys Like Girls Who Take Initiative
There are several key reasons why guys appreciate when girls take initiative in relationships:
1. It’s flattering.
Having a girl make the first move is a major ego boost for most guys. It makes them feel desired and gives them confidence. Knowing you’re into him enough to put yourself out there is very appealing.
2. It takes the pressure off.
Many guys feel anxious about the possibility of rejection when asking a girl out. They worry about misreading signals and making an unwanted advance. When you take the lead, you free him from having to risk potential embarrassment or awkwardness.
3. It shows confidence.
A girl who is bold and goes after what she wants demonstrates confidence and self-assurance. These are very attractive qualities to guys. Your initiative reveals you’re comfortable in your own skin.
4. It saves time.
If you have your sights set on a guy, taking action can help speed things along. Instead of hoping he’ll eventually make a move, you make it happen. This prevents precious time from going to waste.
5. It’s hot.
There’s something undeniably sexy about a girl who sees what she wants and goes for it. Taking initiative in a relationship is a quality that many guys find to be a turn-on. Your assertiveness shows passion and desirability. It’s attractive when a woman knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to take the lead in pursuing her desires.
Tips on Taking Initiative with a Guy
Wondering how to take initiative without coming on too strong? Here are some tips:
Make solid eye contact.
When you’re chatting with him, maintain strong eye contact. This signals confidence and interest. Hold his gaze for a few seconds longer than normal. Smile to ease any intensity.
Compliment him.
Offer sincere compliments to indicate your attraction. Keep it classy by focusing on non-physical traits like his sense of humor or creativity. Be specific so he knows it’s genuine.
Get closer.
Casually reduce physical distance between you. Sit or stand nearer when hanging out. Brief touches on his arm when laughing or emphasizing a point build intimacy.
Initiate solo hangouts.
Suggest spending one-on-one time together versus always with groups. Propose specific plans like grabbing coffee, seeing a movie, or trying a new restaurant. Make sure it comes across as a date.
Make an inside joke.
Building private jokes or references shows you connect well. Bringing these up later helps create feelings of closeness. Playfully tease him about quirks that only you two would find amusing.
Ask personal questions.
Having deeper conversations helps you bond. Ask thoughtful questions about his goals, interests, values and life experiences. Listen closely to his responses so he knows you’re interested.
Remember key details.
Referencing little things he’s mentioned in the past proves you’ve been paying close attention. Recalling personal tidbits like his favorite band or food demonstrates genuine interest.
Flirt via text.
Initiate flirty text exchanges to hint at your attraction. Send playful banter, jokes, witty gifs or lightly affectionate messages. Flirt more in person once you’ve established chemistry.
Give him your number.
Take the pressure off him having to ask for your digits. Casually offer your phone number so he knows you’re open to more contact. Say something like, “I’ve gotta run but let’s text soon!”
Ask him out.
When you’re ready to make a bold move, go ahead and ask him on a date. Say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, we should go out to dinner this weekend.” Suggest a specific day, time and place.
Signs He’s Into You Taking Initiative
How do you know your assertiveness is well received? Look for these positive signs:
He seems pleasantly surprised.
If he reacts with a smile, raised eyebrows or pleased expression, he’s into it. Any subtle sign of delight at your initiative is a good thing.
He appears relieved.
You may notice a relaxing of his posture or loosening of facial muscles. This indicates he’s glad you took the pressure off him having to make the first move.
He’s engaged and responsive.
If he jumps at the chance to spend one-on-one time, returns your texts quickly, and seems focused on you, these are all green lights to keep taking initiative.
He reciprocates flirting.
When you put some flirtatious feelers out there, pay attention to how he responds. Does he flirt back? This shows he’s comfortable with you making advances.
He opens up more.
The more he discloses personal details and deep thoughts with you, the more he trusts you and wishes to get closer. Don’t hold back from showing interest.
He finds excuses to touch you.
Look for gentle brushes against your hand when walking, his arm around your shoulders, or playful nudges. These are all positive physical connections.
He wants you to meet his friends.
If he’s eager to integrate you into his social circle, it means he sees potential and wants to bring you into his world.
He follows up after.
If he texts the next day to say he had a great time or references your previous interaction, he’s hoping for more. Follow your instincts and continue taking the lead.
FAQs
Is it desperate for a girl to pursue a guy?
It’s only desperate if you come on too strong without any reciprocal interest on his end. Simply showing you like him and suggesting spending time together is perfectly fine. Just avoid smothering him or expecting instant commitment.
How do you ask a shy guy out?
Extra initiative may be needed if he’s on the shy side. Try asking simple getting-to-know-you questions to help him open up. Offer your number so he can text if more comfortable. Compliment his personality versus looks initially. Ask him to hang out in a low-pressure environment.
What if he rejects me when I make the first move?
Rejection always stings, but trying builds confidence. Respect his response gracefully. At least you put yourself out there bravely. His response likely has more to do with his circumstances than you. Don’t take it personally.
Is it weird for a girl to pursue a guy?
It’s only weird if you come across as overly aggressive or chase someone clearly not interested. Most guys are flattered by a girl making the first move. Just start slowly and politely so he knows your intentions are good.
How do you know if a shy guy likes you?
Signs a shy guy likes you include getting flustered or smiley in your presence, stumbling over his words, finding excuses to be near you, displaying nervous gestures, or asking you lots of questions. He may open up with his close friends. See if they know how he feels.
Conclusion
Taking the initiative in dating is a great move for empowered women. Many men find it very appealing when a girl they’re interested in makes a bold first move. It takes pressure off them, demonstrates confidence, and kickstarts an exciting dynamic between you.
Start slowly by flirting a little more, complimenting him, and suggesting casual one-on-one hangouts. If he responds positively, keep ramping up the assertiveness. Dropping hints you want to spend more time together or even directly asking him on a date are solid next steps.
During challenging times, learning how to relax your mind is crucial for overall well-being. Just as in navigating relationships, pay attention to your own reactions as well – finding solace in moments of self-care and mindfulness can be your green light behavior, indicating a healthy and positive approach to managing stress. Taking intentional actions to relax your mind can lead to major emotional rewards, just as confidently taking the first step in a potential romantic connection can bring about significant positive outcomes.